There's something to be said for having a 3-0 lead after 9 minutes of play.
There's also something to be said for the other team not having a goalie.
Actually, it kinda sucks. We scored 3 in those 9 minutes and could have scored more, but it felt, I don't know, cheap. I was happy when their goalie (or 'hey can anyone show up and play goalie for us' arrived b/c theis guy has freelanced for other teams we've played) showed up and the game could continue on a more normal keel. Goalie or no goalie, we were the better team. And the score reflected it.
We had a grand total of 10 skaters, not counting Chaz the goalie, who was back after missing two games - both losses. 10 is not a whole lot - two sets of forwards and two pairs of defense. I'm not going to say the low number upset me - playing half a game is better than playing a third, to be sure - and the old bones held together pretty well. I was a +3 for the game, on ice for 5 of ours and 2 of theirs - both weird, irritating goals. I will take a +3 any game of the season, believe you me. We just played well as a team, racking up what had to be 40 or so shots. Our better players played down to our level, always looking to pass when they gained the zone, and Chaz made several big saves when it was 3-2 and we were doing a little nail-biting. A couple of timely goals gave us breathing room, and the final of 6-3 was indicative of how the game went. Aside from a few minutes of sustained pressure by them, we carried the play. It was nice, winning again.
Several of our players had great games. I had a game; mistakes, decent plays, etc. I grabbed two shots out of the air for something new and took at least five shots, which was very new. Most were iceburners that were turned aside, although I did get one waist-height that took a nosedive at the end and almost found five-hole. I'll take a win over a Kit goal any day. I'm also okay with both occurring at the same time.
We're 2-2 at the midway point of the season, and given the league breakdown it's reasonable to assume that 4-4 is going to be good enough to make the playoffs (top 4 out of 8). We play a 4-0 team loaded with 'you're in the wrong division, dude' players next week, so expectations are tempered. We play the house team again, and one would hope that we can beat them for a second time. That leaves us with games against the Mutiny and the Rhinos, games that could go either way (but, to be fair, have gone the wrong way in the past). One game at a time, one shift at a time, and try not to wince too much watching me skate after Chaz posts the video. These are my mantras.
Friday, August 1, 2014
Wednesday, July 23, 2014
I Don't Get It - Hockey and stuff
I don't get it.
Allow me to elaborate. Let's say I was a boxer, and a really good one. Not a champion or anything, but quite skilled. Which would be better for me to fight guys at or near my skill level, or to go beat on schlubs who are just starting out and don't have a chance against me? I can only answer for myself, but it seems option one is the better way to go. What am I gaining by picking on overmatched and outclassed opponents? They could possibly learn from me if I was cool about it and made it more of a sparring session with pointers instead of just embarrassing them, but let's say I don't go that way. I just knock them around, humiliate them, and gloat while I do it.
That would make me an asshole, right?
So we had a game last night, against the team made up of our former teammates (less the goalie, who is having knee issues and took the summer season off). I think it's safe to say we've moved beyond bruised feelings over the details of the original split - we've made a new team we like, one that doesn't seem to have a 'That Guy' on it (unless I'm That Guy and nobody will tell me. Our House team had a couple of That Guy guys on it, neither of whom seem to be in the league anymore). Sure, we're not going to threaten the league's consecutive win record, but we always have fun.
Well . . . not so much last night. The team we played had two players that dominated like my boxing example above. They skated end to end, they skated in circles around us, they basically did whatever they wanted on the ice because we couldn't stop them. And I don't get it. If I were that much better than my opponents I think I'd rather rise until I met my level of competition so that I felt challenged, as opposed to just kicking around inferior players. Then again, the jerkweed wearing #13 pumped his fist and yelled 'YEAH!!!' after scoring his fourth goal of the game, one that made the score 7-1. Yes, he crowed in our faces for extending a five goal lead to a six goal lead with 3 minutes left. His partner in douchebaggery was #23, a defenseman of preternaturally smooth skating who hung by our blue line repeatedly during the last two minutes so his teammates could hit him with a breakaway pass and he could score. Our fill-in goalie stuffed his first breakaway, but not his second. He also whooped it up.
Maybe I can't understand being that much of an asshole because I've never been dominant in a sport like these guys were, but I want to believe I would not be such a tool. I'm also curious about what being their teammates is like. We have guys who are great skaters, but when they hit the offensive zone they look to pass because they understand what kind of league it is. These guys pretty much just passed to each other and would circle around in our zone multiple times until they were open enough to shoot, with the thought of their teammates secondary. They have another guy, #34, who is probably one of the better players in the league, but he's not a dillhole about it. Last season he and I had an epic (well, to me anyway) battle in front of our net as we kept trying to muscle one another out of position. It stayed clean, and after the game he came over me and praised me for a battle well-fought. That's a guy who understands playing against those who aren't at his skill level. The others, not so much.
Obviously I didn't have one of my better games, which is why I sound like an old man complaining that there aren't enough clams in my clam chowder and why are they so stingy with the damn oyster crackers! I'm trying to defend against a guy I can't catch up to, turn anywhere near as quickly as, and aren't allowed to hit. The results were predictable, as I was either a -3 or a -4. Some good passes, but mostly getting juked by jerks. I swear, if they were on our schedule again I'd bring up my nephew, who split his freshman year of high school between JV and varsity, and suit him up. At this point all I can do I shrug and look toward assembling a lineup (damn vacations!) to take on a beatable Hoboken squad next Thursday.
Allow me to elaborate. Let's say I was a boxer, and a really good one. Not a champion or anything, but quite skilled. Which would be better for me to fight guys at or near my skill level, or to go beat on schlubs who are just starting out and don't have a chance against me? I can only answer for myself, but it seems option one is the better way to go. What am I gaining by picking on overmatched and outclassed opponents? They could possibly learn from me if I was cool about it and made it more of a sparring session with pointers instead of just embarrassing them, but let's say I don't go that way. I just knock them around, humiliate them, and gloat while I do it.
That would make me an asshole, right?
So we had a game last night, against the team made up of our former teammates (less the goalie, who is having knee issues and took the summer season off). I think it's safe to say we've moved beyond bruised feelings over the details of the original split - we've made a new team we like, one that doesn't seem to have a 'That Guy' on it (unless I'm That Guy and nobody will tell me. Our House team had a couple of That Guy guys on it, neither of whom seem to be in the league anymore). Sure, we're not going to threaten the league's consecutive win record, but we always have fun.
Well . . . not so much last night. The team we played had two players that dominated like my boxing example above. They skated end to end, they skated in circles around us, they basically did whatever they wanted on the ice because we couldn't stop them. And I don't get it. If I were that much better than my opponents I think I'd rather rise until I met my level of competition so that I felt challenged, as opposed to just kicking around inferior players. Then again, the jerkweed wearing #13 pumped his fist and yelled 'YEAH!!!' after scoring his fourth goal of the game, one that made the score 7-1. Yes, he crowed in our faces for extending a five goal lead to a six goal lead with 3 minutes left. His partner in douchebaggery was #23, a defenseman of preternaturally smooth skating who hung by our blue line repeatedly during the last two minutes so his teammates could hit him with a breakaway pass and he could score. Our fill-in goalie stuffed his first breakaway, but not his second. He also whooped it up.
Maybe I can't understand being that much of an asshole because I've never been dominant in a sport like these guys were, but I want to believe I would not be such a tool. I'm also curious about what being their teammates is like. We have guys who are great skaters, but when they hit the offensive zone they look to pass because they understand what kind of league it is. These guys pretty much just passed to each other and would circle around in our zone multiple times until they were open enough to shoot, with the thought of their teammates secondary. They have another guy, #34, who is probably one of the better players in the league, but he's not a dillhole about it. Last season he and I had an epic (well, to me anyway) battle in front of our net as we kept trying to muscle one another out of position. It stayed clean, and after the game he came over me and praised me for a battle well-fought. That's a guy who understands playing against those who aren't at his skill level. The others, not so much.
Obviously I didn't have one of my better games, which is why I sound like an old man complaining that there aren't enough clams in my clam chowder and why are they so stingy with the damn oyster crackers! I'm trying to defend against a guy I can't catch up to, turn anywhere near as quickly as, and aren't allowed to hit. The results were predictable, as I was either a -3 or a -4. Some good passes, but mostly getting juked by jerks. I swear, if they were on our schedule again I'd bring up my nephew, who split his freshman year of high school between JV and varsity, and suit him up. At this point all I can do I shrug and look toward assembling a lineup (damn vacations!) to take on a beatable Hoboken squad next Thursday.
Friday, July 18, 2014
Moment's Over
(bonus points if you name the movie the title is from)
I guess the best cliche to haul out would be that hockey is a game of inches. It's not a box of chocolates, that's for sure. With about 10 minutes left and our plucky and courageous heroes down 4-2 to the reigning 8W champions Gary picked up a loose puck and headed up on a partial breakaway. The defenseman was on his left, so when Gary crossed the blue line he drew a little to his right, which got the goalie moving to cover the near post. Gary promptly rifled a rising wrist shot back across to the opposite side of the net, beating the goalie cleanly and ringing off the post with a loud and heartbreaking clang. A one goal deficit would have been nice and we carried the play against a tiring home team, but in the end the pucks either didn't bounce our way or were gobbled up by their goalie. And thus our winning streak came to an end at one.
They were the better team, but we weren't dominated. I have to give them credit for playing as a team - everyone took care of their assignments, and in was is odd for an 8W game there were maybe 4 breakaways total. Unfortunately they scored on two of them, including one where I made an ill-advised pinch. Their other goals included one off our defenseman's skate (let it go, Jeff) and one at the end of a way too long shift. Final was 5-2, and it wasn't like they got up 5-0 and then took it easy on us. While they didn't have any superstars, they also didn't have any bad skaters (such as your esteemed author). Still, we had our chances and it was a fun, clean game. Our sub goalie did a pretty good job, and in a 'what' note the first goal was scored by a player he coaches - she's very good and skates like she's turbocharged.
As for me, I had my usual game: some mistakes, some good plays, some pretty awkward moments. I continued my role as puck magnet, including one sequence where I blocked/was inadvertently in the way if four shots on the same shift. Jeff, Ken and I, the rookie defensemen, continue to try to push ourselves by not just freaking out and shooting the puck away as soon as we get near it. Of course that sometimes leads to me trying to stickhandle between two players (poor decision) or clear up the middle by lifting the puck (became a poor decision when the second guy plucked it out of the air with his stick like it was a beach ball instead of a puck), but there were also a few decent passes and puck lugging. I can;t be too upset with a -1 rating for the game, which leaves me at even for the season. Even more encouraging is the improvements I can see in my teammates - for instance, one of our forwards is finding his scoring touch and I think by season's end he's going to be deadly.
It's not entirely unreasonable to think that we could finish in the top half and make the playoffs. It's not a given, either. We'll have to earn it on the ice, inch by inch.
I guess the best cliche to haul out would be that hockey is a game of inches. It's not a box of chocolates, that's for sure. With about 10 minutes left and our plucky and courageous heroes down 4-2 to the reigning 8W champions Gary picked up a loose puck and headed up on a partial breakaway. The defenseman was on his left, so when Gary crossed the blue line he drew a little to his right, which got the goalie moving to cover the near post. Gary promptly rifled a rising wrist shot back across to the opposite side of the net, beating the goalie cleanly and ringing off the post with a loud and heartbreaking clang. A one goal deficit would have been nice and we carried the play against a tiring home team, but in the end the pucks either didn't bounce our way or were gobbled up by their goalie. And thus our winning streak came to an end at one.
They were the better team, but we weren't dominated. I have to give them credit for playing as a team - everyone took care of their assignments, and in was is odd for an 8W game there were maybe 4 breakaways total. Unfortunately they scored on two of them, including one where I made an ill-advised pinch. Their other goals included one off our defenseman's skate (let it go, Jeff) and one at the end of a way too long shift. Final was 5-2, and it wasn't like they got up 5-0 and then took it easy on us. While they didn't have any superstars, they also didn't have any bad skaters (such as your esteemed author). Still, we had our chances and it was a fun, clean game. Our sub goalie did a pretty good job, and in a 'what' note the first goal was scored by a player he coaches - she's very good and skates like she's turbocharged.
As for me, I had my usual game: some mistakes, some good plays, some pretty awkward moments. I continued my role as puck magnet, including one sequence where I blocked/was inadvertently in the way if four shots on the same shift. Jeff, Ken and I, the rookie defensemen, continue to try to push ourselves by not just freaking out and shooting the puck away as soon as we get near it. Of course that sometimes leads to me trying to stickhandle between two players (poor decision) or clear up the middle by lifting the puck (became a poor decision when the second guy plucked it out of the air with his stick like it was a beach ball instead of a puck), but there were also a few decent passes and puck lugging. I can;t be too upset with a -1 rating for the game, which leaves me at even for the season. Even more encouraging is the improvements I can see in my teammates - for instance, one of our forwards is finding his scoring touch and I think by season's end he's going to be deadly.
It's not entirely unreasonable to think that we could finish in the top half and make the playoffs. It's not a given, either. We'll have to earn it on the ice, inch by inch.
Friday, July 11, 2014
The Sweet (and Unusual) Smell of Success
With just under two minutes left in last night's game, the unthinkable happened. The best skater on the other team, armed with steely-eyed determination, managed to circumvent our defense and poke home a rebound goal against us. From our bench rose a collective sigh, even as the foghorn blared (not a real foghorn - we had one of the scorekeepers who was Into It and cranked the horn for goals. He also played music between action. I fully admit to air-guitaring on my hockey stick to Bowling for Soup during a shift change). We had failed, utterly. Alas, our goalie Chaz would not be recording a shutout.
But we won the shit out of the game.
The first minute was misleading - they swarmed all over us and it looked like countless other games from seasons past. Except this time we bent but didn't break, and when they had stayed out too long on their shift one of our guys skated the length of the ice and juked their goalie out of her compression shorts. We tacked on two more before the end of the period and, aside from a few sloppy minutes in the second period, never looked back in a - dare I say? - easy 5 - 1 win.
Now, all the dominoes lined up for us on this one, to be sure. We were playing the new house team and for at least one of the guys it was his first game. We had a talented line-up out there and Chaz was absolutely on his game. And since we were playing with a comfortable lead, it allowed myself and my other two still-sorta-rookie defensemen to take a few more chances - to skate with the puck instead of firing it away immediately, to look for a better pass, to pinch on offense (note: this is not actual squeezing of flesh. Pinching means to attack the puck deeper in the zone than is normally recommended). We had the added bonus of two other good defensemen out here with us: Ken W, who did a fantastic job coaching us during our practice and is as steady as a rock; and new teammate Lauren, who is such a fluid and graceful skater it's amazing to watch. And so we spent a game trying new things, laughing on the bench, and protecting a lead. Crazy, right?
I ended up +1 for the game with no goals against while I was on the ice, which makes me happy. I still made mistakes - late in the game I misjudged a guy's speed and he beat me around the outside for a bad-angle stuff attempt on Chaz the Brick Wall, and also I positioned myself nicely for a pass before whiffing and falling over at the same time. Also, I FORGOT TO BRING THE BEER. That right there is a hanging offense. But overall I was happy with how I played - at least until Chaz posts the video and I see myself doing my 'Statue on Ice' routine again.
Next week we get the team that won Spring session a couple of weeks ago. They're older, smart, and play well together. Still, right now I can look at the standings and see us on top, with something other than a zero int he win column. People, we went 0-17 as the house team and 0-10 on the inaugural Scurvy Dogs season. That's 0-27. 0-27, and yet every week i can't wait to get to the rink and play. What am I going to be like with a winning record?
But we won the shit out of the game.
The first minute was misleading - they swarmed all over us and it looked like countless other games from seasons past. Except this time we bent but didn't break, and when they had stayed out too long on their shift one of our guys skated the length of the ice and juked their goalie out of her compression shorts. We tacked on two more before the end of the period and, aside from a few sloppy minutes in the second period, never looked back in a - dare I say? - easy 5 - 1 win.
Now, all the dominoes lined up for us on this one, to be sure. We were playing the new house team and for at least one of the guys it was his first game. We had a talented line-up out there and Chaz was absolutely on his game. And since we were playing with a comfortable lead, it allowed myself and my other two still-sorta-rookie defensemen to take a few more chances - to skate with the puck instead of firing it away immediately, to look for a better pass, to pinch on offense (note: this is not actual squeezing of flesh. Pinching means to attack the puck deeper in the zone than is normally recommended). We had the added bonus of two other good defensemen out here with us: Ken W, who did a fantastic job coaching us during our practice and is as steady as a rock; and new teammate Lauren, who is such a fluid and graceful skater it's amazing to watch. And so we spent a game trying new things, laughing on the bench, and protecting a lead. Crazy, right?
I ended up +1 for the game with no goals against while I was on the ice, which makes me happy. I still made mistakes - late in the game I misjudged a guy's speed and he beat me around the outside for a bad-angle stuff attempt on Chaz the Brick Wall, and also I positioned myself nicely for a pass before whiffing and falling over at the same time. Also, I FORGOT TO BRING THE BEER. That right there is a hanging offense. But overall I was happy with how I played - at least until Chaz posts the video and I see myself doing my 'Statue on Ice' routine again.
Next week we get the team that won Spring session a couple of weeks ago. They're older, smart, and play well together. Still, right now I can look at the standings and see us on top, with something other than a zero int he win column. People, we went 0-17 as the house team and 0-10 on the inaugural Scurvy Dogs season. That's 0-27. 0-27, and yet every week i can't wait to get to the rink and play. What am I going to be like with a winning record?
Friday, June 27, 2014
Death or Hockey is the name of my Canadian Clash cover band
Okay, a little less sturm and drang around here as I think I've said all I felt like I had to say on the whole OW fiasco and should just move on. Last night, for the first time in the Pathfinder campaign I run I managed to kill a PC. While I don't have to fudge too many rolls with this group, I have in the past once or twice to nerf a death. Why? I like my PCs to be bloody, battered, and knowing they just made it through the battle by the skin of their teeth. It's getting harder to challenge them, which led to this happening.
The wizard in my group is run by a very experienced and savvy player. Is he a bit min/maxxed? Well, yeah. The yin to his yang is his girlfriend's character. She was brand new to gaming so he helped her design it and it addresses every weakness his wizard has - basically her ranger is an engine of destruction that has favored enemies that are the things he can't affect with his conjuration/mind effect spells. At 9th level her damage rolls are routinely in the 30-50 range per strike, and more often than not she's hasted AND equipped with the minor artifact sword that that path provided. So I have to beef up the monsters against them, and last night I rolled two crits from giants who were adding +15 to their damage rolls. I knew she was bloodied, but not in that bad of shape. Usually she comes away nicked up after crushing whatever she's up against in a round or two.
To her credit she took it in stride, which made the couple of fortunate rolls in her favor that got her resurrected seem less of a pandering move. Of course, using something of that power magnitude is going to bring down some unwanted attention . . .
Spring hockey is over and we completed another perfect season - 0-10. We had a great time and really, with 4 rookie defensemen we didn't have lofty expectations. Our last game was against the guys we played with last season, and we lost by a goal. They had a guy way too good for our league, and at one point in the second period he tried to set up in front of my net and we spent a good minute fighting and jockeying for position - it stayed clean, but it was hard-fought. After the game he sought me out and lauded me for that bit. This is why I love hockey.
I also discovered that my shin guards are supposed to be 16" high but the ones I have are only 14", which is my the slapshot I went to my knees to block found unprotected flesh on my thigh and raised a welt that, at its worst, looked like half a softball had been grafted on my leg. It's 5 days later and the bruise is still hard and warm at the center. Yay hockey?
The wizard in my group is run by a very experienced and savvy player. Is he a bit min/maxxed? Well, yeah. The yin to his yang is his girlfriend's character. She was brand new to gaming so he helped her design it and it addresses every weakness his wizard has - basically her ranger is an engine of destruction that has favored enemies that are the things he can't affect with his conjuration/mind effect spells. At 9th level her damage rolls are routinely in the 30-50 range per strike, and more often than not she's hasted AND equipped with the minor artifact sword that that path provided. So I have to beef up the monsters against them, and last night I rolled two crits from giants who were adding +15 to their damage rolls. I knew she was bloodied, but not in that bad of shape. Usually she comes away nicked up after crushing whatever she's up against in a round or two.
To her credit she took it in stride, which made the couple of fortunate rolls in her favor that got her resurrected seem less of a pandering move. Of course, using something of that power magnitude is going to bring down some unwanted attention . . .
Spring hockey is over and we completed another perfect season - 0-10. We had a great time and really, with 4 rookie defensemen we didn't have lofty expectations. Our last game was against the guys we played with last season, and we lost by a goal. They had a guy way too good for our league, and at one point in the second period he tried to set up in front of my net and we spent a good minute fighting and jockeying for position - it stayed clean, but it was hard-fought. After the game he sought me out and lauded me for that bit. This is why I love hockey.
I also discovered that my shin guards are supposed to be 16" high but the ones I have are only 14", which is my the slapshot I went to my knees to block found unprotected flesh on my thigh and raised a welt that, at its worst, looked like half a softball had been grafted on my leg. It's 5 days later and the bruise is still hard and warm at the center. Yay hockey?
Monday, June 23, 2014
Why and What
Hey there, gang. I miss you all already and probably will miss you more as time goes on, but such is life and the odd twists and turns it takes. I'm not writing this to namecall, accuse, or add any more fuel to a fire that's already giving off an acrid, oily, black smoke. But after reading Brian's eerily polished response that made me feel like it had been culled from the template of the official Yale Response to Sexual Harassment Allegations Letter (because at this point the place is pretty well-versed on the topic, it seems), a pair of questions kept popping up in my mind, enough to make last night's sleep not a sleep at all - Why and What?
Let's go with Why first. Those of you who know Laura are aware that large groups are almost always incredibly difficult for her to process. I say 'almost' because of Otherworld, and the particular type of magic you all helped create. It was one of the few well-populated places on the planet where she not only felt comfortable, but warm, safe, and loved as well. What you all were able to do was amazing. Which brings me back to the question: Why?
Why, as Brian has alleged, would Laura throw away one of her most favorite places and groups of people on something that wasn't true? It was a difficult decision whether to be outraged or just to laugh at the suggestion of 'past trauma' being the motivator (we chose the latter). Slut-shaming is so 2013, so I guess that's something new? Nut-Shaming? Laura has gotten all of the benefits of being a whistleblower - of which there are none - and lost a place, a group of friends, and an organization that she loved with all her heart. That harkens back to our question of Why, since she had no other motivation - because she felt she had to, because of how much love she has for Otherworld and the people who are part of it. She didn't feel it was currently a safe place and took steps to see that it would move in that direction.
Let's shift to What and try to move things along instead of me writing like I'm being paid per word. What was Laura hoping to get out of posting her story, sans the name of the accused? Exactly what has happened - awareness. In April 2013, after six months of soul-searching, Laura steeled herself and met with Kristi to tell her what had happened. Imagine having to have that conversation with a friend you loved - 'Hey, I love OW but your husband has made me so uncomfortable that I'd rather quit than ever see him again.' Would you have that conversation if you weren't sure of what had happened? Would anyone? And how would you feel, twelve months later, when it appeared nothing was being done about it? We began to hear rumors, that a request for an investigation and the suggestion of a recusal was refused. That it 'just needed to go away.' That an email had originally gone out to a chosen few but that for the most part, the staff wasn't aware of what had happened. I feel I need to type that again - most of the staff, which might be you right now reading this, was not deemed 'need to know' about an allegation of sexual harassment within the organization. That's not okay.
So, Laura wrote her blog entry.
This - discussion, awareness, and hopefully a policy put in place where others, should something this awful ever happen again, will feel both safe reporting the transgression and confident it won't get swept under the rug no matter the position of the alleged offender - this is all that could be hoped for at this point. I didn't see what happened, but I know what shape Laura was in a few minutes afterward. For the first forty-five minutes of our ride home our usual chattering about the event had been replaced by her silence and obviously distressed state. Whens he finally told me what had happened it was probably a good thing we were so far away, or else I might have done Stupid Things. I'm glad it didn't go that way. At this point, though, that's not the issue. There's no legal moves planned or calls to the media - hell, Laura didn't even name him in her post - yet it seems most people knew whom she was talking about anyway. We've come to discover that Laura is not the only person Brian has said inappropriate things to in the past. Those who have confided asked for anonymity for varying reasons, all of which I will respect and honor. I suppose it's possible Brian isn't even aware that he says and does things he shouldn't -perhaps a sexual harassment awareness class Might help with that. I understand that it's something most people don't want to believe, and if the charge had been leveled by someone else I might be looking at it with a different perspective myself. Or maybe if someone else had been accused it wouldn't have been shunted into the corner. I'm not interested in forcing people to make choices. All I want is for them to be aware and for the possibility of Otherworld taking steps to ensure something like this never happens again.
It flat out kills me to no longer be part of Otherworld, although I noted with wry humor that I was still on the list of invitees. This resolution doesn't seem safe, fair, or cool to me, but Otherworld is bigger than the Yonas and will continue on without us. I will always treasure the memories I had in my time there, and the wonderful people I've met. Maybe we'll still be friends. Maybe you'll find it too awkward to want to hang with me, or bear resentment that my wife (yes, Laura and I have long reconciled. We tried to be quiet about our situation while apart so as not to make others uncomfortable) would accuse someone like Brian. I hope not. We're ready to move on, hopeful that Laura's willingness to share a difficult experience will make OW a safer place. Hopefully OW will be able to do the right thing and thrive as well. In any case, I will miss you all.
Kit
EDIT: It has just come to my attention that the email Brian sent out didn't go to everyone on staff. Once again, people are being cut out of the loop on a sexual harassment issue. I'm stunned and dismayed.
comments welcome. I do not delete, so feel free to speak your mind and know it'll stay up. Or just write TL;DR
Let's go with Why first. Those of you who know Laura are aware that large groups are almost always incredibly difficult for her to process. I say 'almost' because of Otherworld, and the particular type of magic you all helped create. It was one of the few well-populated places on the planet where she not only felt comfortable, but warm, safe, and loved as well. What you all were able to do was amazing. Which brings me back to the question: Why?
Why, as Brian has alleged, would Laura throw away one of her most favorite places and groups of people on something that wasn't true? It was a difficult decision whether to be outraged or just to laugh at the suggestion of 'past trauma' being the motivator (we chose the latter). Slut-shaming is so 2013, so I guess that's something new? Nut-Shaming? Laura has gotten all of the benefits of being a whistleblower - of which there are none - and lost a place, a group of friends, and an organization that she loved with all her heart. That harkens back to our question of Why, since she had no other motivation - because she felt she had to, because of how much love she has for Otherworld and the people who are part of it. She didn't feel it was currently a safe place and took steps to see that it would move in that direction.
Let's shift to What and try to move things along instead of me writing like I'm being paid per word. What was Laura hoping to get out of posting her story, sans the name of the accused? Exactly what has happened - awareness. In April 2013, after six months of soul-searching, Laura steeled herself and met with Kristi to tell her what had happened. Imagine having to have that conversation with a friend you loved - 'Hey, I love OW but your husband has made me so uncomfortable that I'd rather quit than ever see him again.' Would you have that conversation if you weren't sure of what had happened? Would anyone? And how would you feel, twelve months later, when it appeared nothing was being done about it? We began to hear rumors, that a request for an investigation and the suggestion of a recusal was refused. That it 'just needed to go away.' That an email had originally gone out to a chosen few but that for the most part, the staff wasn't aware of what had happened. I feel I need to type that again - most of the staff, which might be you right now reading this, was not deemed 'need to know' about an allegation of sexual harassment within the organization. That's not okay.
So, Laura wrote her blog entry.
This - discussion, awareness, and hopefully a policy put in place where others, should something this awful ever happen again, will feel both safe reporting the transgression and confident it won't get swept under the rug no matter the position of the alleged offender - this is all that could be hoped for at this point. I didn't see what happened, but I know what shape Laura was in a few minutes afterward. For the first forty-five minutes of our ride home our usual chattering about the event had been replaced by her silence and obviously distressed state. Whens he finally told me what had happened it was probably a good thing we were so far away, or else I might have done Stupid Things. I'm glad it didn't go that way. At this point, though, that's not the issue. There's no legal moves planned or calls to the media - hell, Laura didn't even name him in her post - yet it seems most people knew whom she was talking about anyway. We've come to discover that Laura is not the only person Brian has said inappropriate things to in the past. Those who have confided asked for anonymity for varying reasons, all of which I will respect and honor. I suppose it's possible Brian isn't even aware that he says and does things he shouldn't -perhaps a sexual harassment awareness class Might help with that. I understand that it's something most people don't want to believe, and if the charge had been leveled by someone else I might be looking at it with a different perspective myself. Or maybe if someone else had been accused it wouldn't have been shunted into the corner. I'm not interested in forcing people to make choices. All I want is for them to be aware and for the possibility of Otherworld taking steps to ensure something like this never happens again.
It flat out kills me to no longer be part of Otherworld, although I noted with wry humor that I was still on the list of invitees. This resolution doesn't seem safe, fair, or cool to me, but Otherworld is bigger than the Yonas and will continue on without us. I will always treasure the memories I had in my time there, and the wonderful people I've met. Maybe we'll still be friends. Maybe you'll find it too awkward to want to hang with me, or bear resentment that my wife (yes, Laura and I have long reconciled. We tried to be quiet about our situation while apart so as not to make others uncomfortable) would accuse someone like Brian. I hope not. We're ready to move on, hopeful that Laura's willingness to share a difficult experience will make OW a safer place. Hopefully OW will be able to do the right thing and thrive as well. In any case, I will miss you all.
Kit
EDIT: It has just come to my attention that the email Brian sent out didn't go to everyone on staff. Once again, people are being cut out of the loop on a sexual harassment issue. I'm stunned and dismayed.
comments welcome. I do not delete, so feel free to speak your mind and know it'll stay up. Or just write TL;DR
Friday, June 6, 2014
Been Away So Long I Hardly Knew the Place
Yep. been super-busy prepping games for a house con and with life, work, kids, hockey, wife, etc. I'll get back to this soon. Hockey is still fun - we're terrible but it;s a blast. Editing is cruising along - 1/3 done, I think. I had to take this week off to prep games but I'll dive back in next week. Updates that are more interesting (or at least try to be) soon.
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